Unwelcome

I had a visitor this morning.  

Migraine came. 

 The first time she visited me was at church when I was fourteen.  I didn't know what the blind spot and flashing lights that made me nauseous meant (just thinking about it makes me queasy).  When the flashing lights receded to the periphery of my vision, BANG! my head felt like it was being cranked down by a vice and my eyeballs felt like they were being squeezed out of their sockets.  I staggered to the car where I cried and moaned and whimpered until the rest of my family was done with the three hour block.  I couldn't understand this violence my head was going through.  After a full day of throwing up and a headache from beyond this world, I started to feel a little bit better...but very delicate.  A sneeze, or a shake of the head, or bending over, or moving in any way other than slow motion sent spasms of pain.  After another day of being delicate, I was back to normal.  

What I didn't realize that day when Migraine came to visit was that she would come back, and back, and back.  

She comes any darn time she wants to.

At first her visits were about once or twice a month.  As years passed, she'd come every couple months and then every few months.  It is always a surprise though.  I wake up feeling normal and then...hold it...is that a blind spot?  No!  No!  No!  It's always the same pattern.  I'm out for the day.  Maybe it is her way of telling me to slow down, or force me to take a break.    But that doesn't make complete sense because sometimes when I finally have a break, like Christmas vacation, that is exactly when she comes.  Unwelcome.   

I have many memories with Migraine.  Like the time she came to visit me at the BYU bookstore and I ran outside just in time to throw up in the bushes.  I'm sorry whoever was walking past me just then.  

And once I staged a visit with Migraine in order to keep my mom's industrial sewing machines from being sold for drugs (you'll have to ask me about that one in person if you are curious).

As a brand new missionary in a foreign country, Migraine came one night briefly flashing her lights but then she broke the pattern.  Miracle.  The headache never came and she decided not to visit for the rest of my time in Bolivia...but as soon as I got back on American sod she was back.  That was my longest stretch without her visit.  

This morning I was on task at work.  I had assessed my patients, almost had everything charted, and had passed my morning medications.  I looked up to answer a question from a parent and my own question popped into my head "Did I just see a blind spot?"  I looked to the left and to the right and all around and yes, there was definitely a blind spot and then of course a flash of light.  I knew I had about a half hour before the flashing lights circled their way to the periphery of my vision and the headache came.  I found my charge nurse, told her my predicament and how worthless I was going to be in a matter of minutes and was soon riding my scooter back home to crash in my darkened room.  My crash lasted from 10 am until 5 pm.  

Now I'm feeling pretty good.  Just a little delicate.  Don't make me laugh.