Trouble With Being Big

Raycito has had a few issues at school lately . One boy (I'll call him Midget) likes to pick on him. Since when did a little shrimp of a kid get away with picking on a kid twice his size? Midget talks about Ray behind his back in small circles, laughs about him, makes fun of him openly to his face and ridicules him in front of other kids. For the last few weeks Ray has spilled out his heart to me about Midget's meanness. I've advised him in the normal parental way. I've told him to ignore him, or be nice to him, or go to an adult if he needs to.

One morning not too long ago Ray was crying over his bowl of cereal about this situation. Dave, who hadn't heard much about everything, was filled in on his big 9 year old's crisis. Dave counseled him that the next time Midget said mean things Ray was to say something like "It's not smart to pick on someone twice your size." and if Midget continued in his taunting, Dave told Ray to take him down.

Usually I would argue against this sort of counsel. I don't believe in bullying and I certainly don't want Ray to be the bully but I figured that if Midget can learn a lesson about cause and effect in 3rd grade it might save his life in the future. I don't like little man syndrome even if the little man is just a kid. I've noticed that the trouble with being big like Ray is that big kids aren't taken seriously when they go to their teacher for help and little kids get away with murder. A bully is sometimes only thought of as a big kid that pushes other kids around but more often the bully in the school is a little kid who teases and taunts and gets a group to follow him in his terrorizing or the bully is an innocent sweet looking girl who belittles you and laughs at you while she forms her elite cliques.

I braced myself for a phone call from Principal Pratt telling me he had Ray in his office for fighting.

So far it hasn't come yet.

The day Ray received parental permission to deck the kid, Ray told me that Midget came up and started to tease him. Ray obediently repeated the "It's not smart to pick on someone twice your size" line. Midget didn't take the hint and kept teasing.

Ray decided to turn the other cheek and ignore him.

Ray is such a disobedient child.



When Ray was working on his valentine list a few days ago he came to Midget's name and he didn't want to give him one. I told him he should give him one anyway because he shouldn't leave anyone out. Ray thought about it and then said "Maybe giving him a valentine can be a turning point." I was surprised by Ray's sensitivity when I saw the valentine to Midget with Ray's scrawlings that said "I want to be your friend." I hope for Ray's sake that that happens. Kids can be so mean.

Dave decided to give Ray an extra boost in cool factor by helping him with his Valentine Box. Here is what they came up with.




What 3rd grader wouldn't think a toilet for a Valentines Box is the coolest?


Ray said all the kids liked it and thought it was funny but I bet Midget, being the little man that he is, was just jealous.