Dodge

In 2004, a few months before Lou was born, I decided to sell my Toyota Corolla and get a larger family vehicle. Going from 2 to 3 kids felt like a big move. David, who worried his masculinity and image would be threatened just by the mention of a mini van, came up with a plan. He convinced me to let him look around for something less lame. I gave in and told him to go for it. He came up with this:

Well, almost. The one we bought was older and run down. The interior was gutted of everything camper-like though it still has the pop-top. It also has 5 seat belts for the family. I admit that I thought it was a lot more hip than a mini van and I decided to try it out. We got it about this time of year 7 years ago when the weather was cool. Driving around we felt like we had stuck it to the family man. We weren't going to surrender just yet.

Never mind that there wasn't any power steering.

Never mind that we had to yell to each other to be heard.

Never mind that there wasn't any air conditioning....and the engine sat between the driver and the passenger and come summer it would become a human furnace.

I got my wake up call one summerish day as I drove around with the kids running errands. It was an upper body work out to steer especially as I was trying to maneuver in parking lots. I was sweating by the time I pulled the van into the shop. My shirt was drenched. My head was dripping. The engine was blowing hot suffocating air. I turned around to check on the kids buckled up behind me and saw sweaty beet red cheeks. They looked like cherubs.

I realized this wasn't going to work.

So I got myself a not so hip mini-van from an auction. But it had room to spare and air conditioning. (Although it would only stay on cold and Dave had to jerry-rig the thing, using a wire hanger to get it to alternate between the heater and the air conditioner. To this day, I have to bend down to where the passenger's feet go and pull the hanger to the right spot to get the right temperature.)

We still have the camper-wagon though. We have actually used it a lot and it's a lot of fun. We've gone camping with it several times with the windows wide open to get the heat out as we drive. It's not a great vehicle for listening to music or having a quiet conversation, of course, but it gets looks. We also use the van for our pick-up service at the shop. We can fit two scooters in the back. It can actually fit two scooters, two mountain bikes and all our camping gear and we'll use it next weekend when we go to the Moab scooter rally once again. We've even been able to sleep our whole family inside it.

A couple of weeks ago we had to drop off a scooter in Saratoga Springs and then pick up two scooters in Salt Lake City for repairs. So we loaded up the kids and made it an late night drive. For some reason, the van smelled strongly of gas. Every time we stopped and started the van up, gas fumes would engulf us but I think we've all become accustomed to smelling gas, exhaust and paint so we didn't care all that much.

On the way home, Little D yells to us that Raycito is going to throw up. I look back at him and he does kind of look like he's guppying (as in a guppy fish). "What's wrong?" I ask. Apparently he had seen Little D pick his nose and eat it which Little D of course denies. We can neither confirm nor deny that he picked his nose and ate it but I tend to believe he did because it wouldn't be the first time. Raycito has a cup in his hand and I tell him that we're on the freeway and can't pull over so just throw up in the cup if he has to at which point he throws up in his lap. Next thing I know, he's shaking throw-up chunks off of him and all over the van. As soon as we can, we pull off the freeway and clean him up. Dave tries to either a.) comfort him or b.) be funny by telling him that once he caught his high-school girlfriend pick her nose and eat it. This causes Raycito to immediately dry heave but luckily he holds it together. (This reminds me of my little brother Jacob who threw up out the window of my mother's van on a road trip when my brother Hartman farted. The throw up splatted all over the side of the van and we drove that way for several hours on I-15 until we got to our destination in Utah.)

So the next day, Dave is checking over the camper-wagon and realizes that there is a crack in the fuel line and it is literally squirting gas all over the engine. Oh... that's why we were getting intoxicated by gas fumes. We realized that we'd been risking our lives on that trip to Salt Lake City. But Dave fixed everything up. For now. I won't mention in detail about how on another trip 8 feet of exhaust pipe came off on the high way and the brakes quit. And I won't mention too much about the time Dave's brother Tom almost got impaled when were were trying to push the van by brute strength up onto a trailer to tow it home after it broke down.

What we sacrifice in safety we make up for in style. Right?

p.s. Lest you be confused, I really do think our camper-wagon is groovy and I wouldn't sell it so don't ask.