A Series of Fortunate Events

The morning of Thursday October 22nd was shaping up to be a productive day. David had awoken early and had already read, eaten breakfast, and showered before the hour that he usually rubs his eyes awake. He got up on the roof to place some guards that keep the snow we anticipated in the coming months from slipping off the roof in sheets. He was half way done when his drill battery died so he got down to charge it. A little while later I was getting into the car to run some errands and David was getting back up on the roof to finish the job. We had kissed goodbye and would meet up in less than an hour to open up our store.

Just before I shut the car door to back out, I heard...well I'm trying to think about what I heard. Did he yell? Did he call out? Did the metal ladder make a sound as it clamored backwards? I don't remember. But I saw him falling backwards. Some noise called me out of the car and I saw him land hard on his back. I ran over to him. "Oh! Dear God!" I said as I knelt over him. Neither of us knew exactly what damage had been done. His head? His back? His neck? It all checked out but his arm looked weird. Like he had an elbow in the middle of his bicep. Dislocated? Broken? Yes, broken.

David looked at me and said "I think I'm going to have to file for bankruptcy." "Don't worry about that now" I responded. While he lay on the ground, the fall from the roof felt to David like the last nail had been placed in his financial coffin. A series of unfortunate events/mistakes over the last 7 years had brought our debt to an all time high and with a broken arm, David felt that it was a sign that things were unrepairable. He wouldn't be able to work fixing things like he does and without him fixing things, he wouldn't earn money. No money means no money.

Not only that, but David didn't have any medical insurance. Why not? How could we be so careless about something like that? Five years ago I cut back my hours at the hospital and dropped my benefits for legitimate and desperate reasons (that I won't go into here because it's beyond the scope of this post- or any post for that matter) and decided to buy insurance for our family. Little did I know how picky insurance companies are. They denied me for having a premature baby, they denied Lou for being premature, they denied David for being treated for sleep apnea and for any other reason they could find. After 4 years of reapplying over and over to different companies, one finally accepted me but continued to deny David. We looked into buying insurance as a small business owner but we didn't meet the qualifications- and besides, the cost per month would have put us out of business had we been able to qualify. So David was left uninsured for the last 5 years. We had a good run I must admit. He hasn't needed to go to the doctor until this year. We wondered how much a broken arm would cost us.

Even though this was all adding up to bad news, I wasn't sure about the fall being the nail in the coffin. I had been working at The Scooter Lounge and felt really good about it...if we could just make it through another winter...if the mechanics could just cover for Dave for a couple months until his arm healed.

Soon after the fall, David started to have intense abdominal pain. His gut seemed bloated and strange. David felt "blotesque" as he described it. The pain got so bad he couldn't eat or drink without throwing up. He couldn't sleep, he couldn't sit, he couldn't stand. He was in so much pain that we ended up in the ER again. The news came back after the CT scan that he had an enormous kidney filling up the majority of the right side of his abdomen. This led to seeing a specialist, having a nephrostomy tube place under flouroscopy, having a renal scan, having a retrograde cystoscopy under general anesthesia, having an MRI and finally being admitted to the hospital on December 9th to have the kidney removed and a 4 day hospital stay. All the while he's having X-rays on his arm as it heals. All the while he's out of work and we're living on a prayer.

So why are all these things a series of fortunate events?

The broken arm became a metaphor for us--and an incredibly powerful learning experience for David. For years David had been leaning on his arm of flesh. He had leaned on his own understanding and strength and it had brought us to a point. A point one moment away from marital suicide and professional bankruptcy. He broke his arm of flesh. The meaning was not lost on him.

His kidney, a filter, probably hadn't been working properly for years the Urologist said. Maybe it hadn't been working properly since birth. It swelled and pushed things around and caused problems with his other organs. David had been living like that for years- lugging that broken filter around. It had affected many aspects of his well-being negatively without David's full awareness. The broken arm and broken kidney reminded him of his mortality and that God would have him be the son he should be.

I didn't see that as a bad thing.

Yes, the money was adding up. Each doctor visit is paid out-of-pocket, each hospital test racked up a mountainous bill - but that is just money and the benefits of going through this experience outweigh the heaviness of the bills.

Christmas was coming and we joked that we were going to have kidney pie for Christmas. I joked with the kids that for Christmas we were all going to get daddy's kidney out. I didn't see how we would be able to afford anything else. Paying our bills was sketchy enough. The funny thing about Christmas time is that people are looking for ways to serve. They are searching for people around them in need. I have learned that each of us have to learn how to give and how to receive graciously. Giving or receiving graciously is the key. I think the majority of us, including myself, would rather be able to give. It is a lot easier to be on the giving end. It is humbling to be on the receiving end. Who wants to be in need or unable to care for your own? Who wants to not be self-sufficient?

Regardless, we all have to learn the lessons placed before us. It was apparent immediately that friends and family wanted to help us as soon as they heard about David's accident. It has been overwhelming to be the recipients of so much generosity. People started giving us money, raising money, and offering gifts. I know that many of the friends, friends who we know through The Scooter Lounge, paid it forward to us because of how generous David has been to them in the past. I am thankful David has had a habit of service. He has always been an example to me in this way. But WOW! Our friends and family have gone above and beyond. I never anticipated the help we have received.

Christmas came and went and it felt strange to not buy gifts for our kids...but they received so many gifts from grandparents, cousins, and friends (whoever you are -Thank you!). In years past I have told the kids that they can have three gifts apiece because the wise men brought Jesus only three gifts. I haven't wanted my kids to get a lot for Christmas or to make Christmas about "getting". This year tossed that plan right out the window. David and I took time to explain to the kids that all these gifts were given to them because people love them and are following Jesus Christ's example to give to others. I hope they understand.

A New Year is coming and David and I have high hopes for health, happiness and a more sound fiscal year. We want to be able to follow the example of many of you who have shared with us. We aren't out of the woods by a long shot, but I am not scared. When the broken arm and kidney thing happened, it was after already passing through a lot of trials and tears. I heard that the emotions of crying and laughing are linked in the brain somehow and that sometimes when someone is under a lot of stress, the emotions cross- like when someone laughs at a funeral. That's how I felt. The whole situation almost seemed hilarious to me and I couldn't cry anymore. "Of course David broke his arm. Of course David has a kidney the size of a football. Why wouldn't he?" I told myself.

Through it all, though I was worried, I wasn't scared. I have always known God is aware of us and though the trials may be sore, they are for my good, for our good. To save us alive.