Code Word: Boo Radley

We have a few made up words in our family. Off the top of my head we have fibbermagee, peepee-lone-cito and peenchy. Another is boo radley as in "I had a boo radley day" or "Ray-Ray was very boo radley today" or "Why are you so boo radley?". All I need to do is use a phrase like that and David has a pretty good idea of what kind of day I had.

The words themselves actually come from To Kill a Mockingbird. Boo Radley was a reclusive and strange character. The story hints at something in Boo's past where he was an adolescent trouble maker and his father kept him indoors away from society. The character's attributes don't really describe how we have made his name our own word so I'll try to explain it.

Boo radley is used to describe the different challenges of raising my children, or one certain child. I love all my children deeply and unconditionally but I also know that Ray-Ray is my refiner's fire. He is going to test me until I am the most patient and kind mother in the world. He is a wonderfully curious, creative, and intellectual child though prone to many social awkwardnesses and hang-ups. His ability for autistic "melt-downs" is boo radley. He can wake up to a "no day" where his first response to everything is negative and that is boo radley. When he won't get dressed due to bumps in his socks, strange textures of his pants, a collar he can't stand against his neck, that is boo radley. When he hauls off and punches a kid because of some perceived non-existant threat and gets suspended, that is boo radley. And David alone understands exactly what challenges I face in raising this child and how to get him out of his boo radley funk.

Boo radley is also used sometimes to describe David. We used to own a very small old two bedroom house. We had my whole family over one night for FHE and about half way through, I noticed that David had disappeared. I thought that he must be in the bathroom but when he didn't come back for quite some time, I went to find him myself. Nestled between our bed and the wall, cleverly unseen, David lay perfectly still playing a game on his cell phone. He could not come join us again. Too many people. Too crowded. Boo radley moment.

Boo radley is also used to describe me. I have melt-downs too. Every so often, I feel like my brain just fizzles out on me and I can't take all the requests from tiny people in my home, or the quarrels they get into, or the melt-down no days. Okay, I'm going to get honest here. My boo radley days seem to correlate strangely with my hormone cycle. I hate feeling like I am at the mercy of my hormones but they take over each month in a rage. Once David and I went to a Christmas party for my work. The room was full of nurses and spouses and my supervisor and clinical educators and others. We played a game where you had to tell something about your spouse that no one would know. I'm pretty kind and I tell everyone that no one would know it but David does a really great Elvis Presley impersonation. David then tells everyone that no one would know it but that "while we were dating, Kaerlig broke up with me every 28 days". Everyone else got a good laugh and though I would like to say that David was exaggerating, he really wasn't. And I still feel like breaking up with him every 28 days though it's not because of him. It's just boo radley.